Christmas Poem Selection # 3

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SLIPPERS?

Are you wearing Christmas slippers?
They look very cute it must be said
But I think they’d look much cuter
If I was to see them under my bed

CHRISTMAS (ACROSTIC) # 2

Cinnamon
Hot Chocolate
Rum Cakes
Icing
Stollen
Turkey
Mulled wine
Apple cider
Stuffing

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 16

Twas the night before Christmas and every abode
Was shrouded in silence all down the road
But no house was empty, they were all in their homes
They were hiding from carollers from St Jerome’s

WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 2

When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to ballroom dance
Going quick quick slow
Then he dances backwards
And he goes oh oh oh

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 332

Flour of England, fruit of Spain,
Met together in a shower of rain;
Let’s make Christmas pudding again

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS ARE JUST

New Year’s resolutions are just
Lies that we tell one another
And are something that go in
One year and out the other

IF YOU’RE A TAKE THAT FAN

If you’re a Take That fan
Then Christmas could be shocking
If you’re expecting to find
An Orange in your stocking

RUDOLPH WAS SO OBNOXIOUS

Rudolph was so obnoxious that the
Other reindeer threatened to strike
He was really very unpopular and they
Thought he was RUDE-olph more like

ARE YOU WEARING A GREEN CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?

Are you wearing a green Christmas outfit?
You look very beautiful in it
In fact you look very cute
In your Santa’s little helper suit
A Christmas hat sits atop your curls
In a way only suited to girls
A beautiful green velvet dress
And white fur trim to impress
Striped woollen legs of green and white
Are they stocking or tights?
Stockings would be in reason
More in keeping with the season
But I would not disparage woolly tights
They too have their own delights
Come and help me trim the tree
And say you dressed this way for me?

CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 2

I kept Lily home from school
For Christmas shopping
Because it’s the very best time

To get all the presents on the list
Especially when you believe
That shoplifting isn’t a crime

I JUST OPENED MY PRESENT

My old aunt just popped round
With a Christmas gift for me
It wasn’t what I was expecting
It was a tweedy dye Mankini

“I hope it’s the one you wanted”
I didn’t know what to say really
I couldn’t understand it
I asked for a CD by Mancini

WHEN RUDOLPH ARRIVED

When Rudolph arrived
Cupid was so pleased
It meant the other reindeer
Had someone new to tease

I AM BLESSED WITH FRIENDS AT CHRISTMAS

I am blessed with Friends
Some of them are fruity
Some are soaked in alcohol
Some of them are nutty
Some are sweet
Some add spice
Some add zest
Some smell nice
But when mixed together
And yuletide is upon us
They become without doubt
The fruit cake of Christmas

A PERFECT GIFT

I just bought my wife a new fridge
I’ve just been online and paid for it
I’m so excited I can’t wait to see
Her face light up when she opens it

CHRISTMAS COMPLIMENT

As I was basting the bird
A thought, to me occurred
It was only at this time of peace
That Turkey and Greece,
As with hot fat you smother,
Compliment each other