Snippets of Downshire Life – Christmas Eve

 

The Dulcets were a collection of villages and hamlets comprising of Dulcet Meadow, Dulcet St Mary, Dulcet Green and Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of course Dulcet-on-Willow which was a large sprawling village beside the gentle shallow River Willow, which ran unhurriedly from the Pepperstock Hills to the more vibrant River Brooke, and

30 years old, Kerry Freeborn woke up very early on Christmas Eve feeling apprehensive.

It was the first time she’d spent the night in her own home since November, she had spent the time in between at the Seaview Hotel in Sharpington, where she and her best friend Sharon Blackburn were appearing at the Bluebird Theatre in Cinderella.

The theatre was dark on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so she returned home after the last performance on the 23^rd.

But it was not her return home, nor her waking alone that had left her feeling apprehensive, it was something that had first begun on St Andrew’s Day at a dinner party.

 

It was in the part of Sharpington called Granite Hill, which in a nod to San Francisco, the locals had nicknamed Nob Hill, and it was where local Children’s Writer, Alesha Khan, lived.

The hostess had first met Kerry after they both took part in the World Book Day events at Sharpington library and they became friends.

Also, at the party was Jayson Mercer, Alesha’s Literary agent, who Kerry first met just after the World Book Day events, when she was starring in a play at the Bluebird Theatre, and there was an instant attraction, but Kerry found out he was married to his business partner Kathryn, so she backed off, however she had since discovered that they were not a couple.

Jayson and Kathryn had divorced the year before, but it was a completely amicable split, because after eight years of marriage they both realised it wasn’t really working, they loved each other, and still did, but they were not in love.

In fact, they still lived under the same roof, in the same house, after the split, and planned to sell the house, or buy the other one out, if and when their personal circumstances changed.

So domestic life for them wasn’t really very different to when they were married, and it really should have been if they belonged together as a couple, so they knew they had made the right decision, and even after the divorce they were still best friends, and of course they still worked together at the Literary Agency they founded, Mercer and associates.

Even after they stopped living as man and wife, the split was so amicable that they kept up their long-standing routine of travelling to and from work together.

So, it was no wonder that Kerry jumped to the wrong conclusion, and she’d left Sharpington when the theatre Company took the play to Abbottsford, when she discovered the truth of the arrangement.

But when she was back in Sharpington, so was he and he was in touching distance, although his ex was also at the dinner party, so she thought she should be forgiven for getting the wrong end of the stick again.

From the first moment she got “eyes on” she kept them on and when the time came for them to take their seats she found that she was seated opposite him and focussed all her attension on him and made it patently obvious she only had eyes for him.

 

At the end of the evening and they had said good night to Alesha her BFF Sharon had “Eyes on” a man of her own so Jayson offered to walk her back to the hotel.

So, they walked down to Sharpington Promenade from the heights of Granite Hill and chatted much as they had all evening and then they were suddenly at the hotel almost before they had time to blink.

“Do you want to come in for a nightcap?” she asked desperately

“Ok just a quick one” he said, and she was feeling very smug as they went inside

 

When she was half way down the glass of wine she said

“Perhaps we can do something over the weekend, dinner, maybe” she suggested

“The Panto doesn’t open until Monday, so I’m completely free”

“Ah” he responded

“Ah?” she repeated “I don’t like the sound of “Ah”, is it an “Ah” I’m back with my wife or “Ah” I’m with someone else or “Ah” I’m gay”

“None of the above” he said

“Phew”

“Do you remember me telling you during dinner that my sister Lizzie had twins?”

“Yes” she replied, “Oh God are they ill?”

“Not them” he replied

“Lizzie has PPD, Postpartum depression” he replied “and she’s not coping and nor is her husband”

“Oh dear”

The upshot was that he had to go to Millmoor to help out and would be away for a couple of weeks.

She knew that her next day off wasn’t until the 13^th so she invited him to dinner and he said he would try and make it back.

 

They parted company in reception where he kissed her cheek and then she watched him leave, and it hurt, it really hurt and that really surprised her, why did it hurt? She knew she liked him, but obviously it was more than that if it hurt.

“Why does it hurt?” she asked herself as she walked towards the stairs and then she stopped

“My God I love him” she exclaimed

 

The time hung heavy until the 13^th, St Lucy’s Day, but he did make it back for their dinner date.

She was sitting at the bar, perched on a barstool drinking a brandy, and feeling its warmth spread through her, and still wearing jeans and a sweater after the St Lucy events, when Jayson arrived

“Hi” he said as he leant in and kissed her cheek and breathed in the fragrance of apples on her hair, the aroma of coconut on her skin and an overall presence of expensive perfume.

“Oh bugger” she screamed inside her head, she had planned to wear a brand new white silk dress decorated with tiny pink roses, over some recently purchased very classy lingerie, and be made up to perfection, and instead she was wearing jeans and a sweater.

“You look lovely” he said as he sat down on the vacant stool.

“And you smell good enough to eat”

“I am supposed to look gorgeous” she said sadly

“You do look gorgeous” he said

 

During the dinner Kelly drank more than was good for her and she inadvertently told him she loved him.

“I used the “L” word, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did” he confirmed “and it’s ok because I think I love you too, but”

“But….”

“Oh shit, why is there a “but” I don’t like the “but”, one little bit”

 “But….” He continued “I have to go back to Millmoor tomorrow, and I’ll probably won’t be back until Christmas”

She looked crestfallen, so he took hold of her hand.

“I have to be there for my sister’s family right now, but I want there to be an “us”, but I can’t give you that right now” he said as he held her hand “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to, do you understand?”

“Yes, I think so”

“Can you wait?”

“Yes” she said “on one condition”

“Name it”

“That you give me your mobile number, so I can talk to you or text you or something” she said

“I’ve already put it in your phone”

“You have?”

“Yes” he replied “Now I think it’s time to get you to bed”

“Oh goody, I like the sound of that”

“Calm down hot stuff” he said “I need to get you to bed so you have a good night’s sleep and then we can spend an enjoyable few hours together tomorrow morning, before I have to leave for Millmoor and you have to be at the theatre”

 

Kelly tottered along the corridor beside him but when they paused to allow an elderly lady to go through the fire doors ahead of them, she looked up at him through soulful eyes and he kissed her, a kiss she had longed for since the moment she first met him.

After the long-awaited kiss, they walked hand in hand to the door of her room where they kissed again before he unlocked the door and pushed it open, but Kelly paused in the doorway

“I’m sorry” she said

“For what?”

“For being so needy”

“You’re not needy, so don’t apologize for being you” he said and kissed her once more.

 

They met for breakfast the next morning and stayed together until lunchtime when he had to leave and it was heart-breaking to watch him drive away but she knew he was doing the right thing and it was only going to be ten days, she had done longer before and this time she could contact him, and she had the memory of hearing her declaration of love returned in word and deed and that would sustain her.

The panto kept her distracted as did Sharon, when she wasn’t off with her new man, but it was impossible of course to exclude him from her thoughts or stop him invading her dreams.

They were inconstant touch vie text, phone and email, though it wasn’t easy to find a mutually convenient time for a lengthy converse, due to her keeping different hours, but they managed somehow.

 

It was just before lunch on Christmas Eve when he phoned, she had just finished putting the last of the decorations up, and she didn’t look at the caller ID she just took a deep breath and hit the button.

“Hello” she said

“Hey Kelly” he said

“Jayson?” she asked “God it’s good to hear your voice”

“Ditto” he replied, “Where are you?”

“I’m in the Dulcets” she replied, “Are you still in Millmoor?”

“No, I’m back in Sharpington” he replied

“When are you coming?”

“Tonight” he replied “I need to spend a couple of hours in the office first”

“I can’t wait” she said “Have you made a decision? About us”

“Yes, I have” he replied

“And?” she enquired trying to keep the anxiety out of her voice

“Well let me put it this way, you remember that sexy outfit you were going to wear when we went out for dinner?”

“Yes”

“Wear it tonight” he said

“Really?”

“Really” he confirmed

“So what time tonight?”

“Around seven” he replied

“I’d better get to the shop, I’ve got nothing in” she said excitedly

“Let yourself in if I’m not back, I’ll email you a map to the house and the secret hiding place, so you know where the key is”

“Ok, I’ll see you tonight then” he said

“Ok, bye”

 

She immediately left the house after hanging up the phone and drove to the nearest Stephenson’s Supermarket to stock up on essentials and while she was there she bought the makings of a Christmas dinner, just in case Jayson stayed over, and to make sure she made an unrelated purchase.

After the shopping expedition, she put the groceries away and tidied up, then she changed the bedding before having a shower, she would have preferred a leisurely bath but she didn’t have time, and then she got perfumed, powdered, preened and made up to perfection, then she put on the outfit she had planned to wear when they met for dinner at the Hotel, her brand new bought for the occasion white silk dress decorated with tiny pink roses, over the very classy lingerie she bought at the same time, the only addition were the stockings she’d bought that afternoon.

After slipping on her shoes she looked at the slim figure in the mirror and smiled at her reflection.

“Not bad” she declared and flicked at her shoulder length brunette hair.

Then she looked at the clock and realised she had almost an hour before he was due, so she sat in the armchair and checked her phone.

 

It was after six o’clock when Jayson left Sharpington and travelled the short distance to Dulcet-on-Willow.

He had used the post code Kelly had given him, and almost as soon as it informed him

“You have arrived”

Her house came into view, so he indicated and pulled onto the drive, there were lights on downstairs, so he knocked on the door, but there was no answer.

So as per Kelly’s instructions he reached up under the right-hand side of the porch and retrieved the key and let himself in.

He dropped his bag quietly in the hall and opened the lounge door and when he walked into the room he saw her, and his heart soared.

She was wearing a beautiful silk dress and was curled up in an arm chair with her feet tucked beneath her, and beneath the folds of her dress he could just make out her stocking top.

Kelly was hugging a cushion to her chest, and instantly an unabated wave of love washed over him, and he immediately knew he wanted her in his life forever.

He had missed her so much while he was away, but there she was, stunningly attractive, and staggeringly sexy, and furthermore she loved him.
The first time he saw her he thought she was the sexiest girl he’d ever seen, and he thought so still.

He stood over Kelly and stared affectionately down at her for the longest time, as she slept so soundly.
He didn’t really want to wake her, she looked so at peace, he should have let her sleep, but if he had she would not have thanked him, in fact she would have been very miffed.
So he knelt beside her and roused her gently and as she stirred from her slumber, her eyes slowly opened and then widened.

“Hello Darling” he said and when she saw him she smiled.

“I fell asleep” she said “While I was waiting for you”

“I know honey” he said

“I was having a lovely dream”

“Were you? What was it about?”

“It was about you” she replied

“Tell me about it?” he asked

“I can’t”

“Why not?”

“It was rude” she replied coyly and blushed

“Tell me later then” he said and kissed her

“Hmmm” she responded “I’ve missed you”

“I missed you too” he replied and then he scooped the woman he loved in his arms and carried her to bed.

Snippets of Downshire Life – The Joint Present’s

 

Downshire is a relatively small English county but like a pocket battleship it packs a lot in, a short but beautiful coastline, a channel port, the Ancient forests of Dancingdean and Pepperstock, the craggy ridges and manmade lakes of the Pepperstock Hills National Park, the rolling hills of the Downshire Downs, the beautiful Finchbottom Vale and farm land as far as the eye can see from the Trotwood’s and the Grace’s in the south to the home of the Downshire Light infantry, Nettlefield, and their affluent neighbour’s, Roespring and Tipton in the north but our story takes place in the southern town off Abbottsford which was the biggest in Downshire, its administrative capital and the seat of the Downshire government.

It was also a place of learning thanks to the Downshire University and was a Cathedral City and was also home to Abbottsford Town football club.

Abbottsford was also the location of the Abbottsford’s Phoenix Shopping Centre and Hanratty’s Department Store therein.

It was at Hanratty’s where lifelong friends, Kristine Perrin and Lily Parsons, worked.

Krissy was the eldest of the pair by two weeks and was a very slim, very pretty girl with dark brown pixie cut hair, while Lily was a small skinny girl with long curly chestnut hair.

Neither of them had particularly happy home lives so they were naturally drawn to each other from an early age.

So, they did everything together and were seldom ever home as they were always off on some adventure or other.

 

They spent all their spare time together and when they were at school and college they also worked together, evenings and weekends at Stephenson’s Supermarket.

Most of their adventurous escapades were during the holidays and they chalked up a lot of happy times and their friendship was their most precious possession and they loved each other, and they complimented each other.

 

Although there were similarities between them, they were both pretty for a start, their likes and dislikes, their sense of humour, but really as individuals they couldn’t be more different.

Kristine had no fear whereas Lily would tremble in the shadows on her own.

Krissy was an extrovert, confident, self-assured and brave, though not cocky in any way.

Lily on the other hand, was shy and she lacked self-confidence but being with Krissy made her feel more confident, daring to do things she would never have done alone, such as leaving Northchapel and moving to Abbottsford.

 

Abbottsford was a place of particular significance to the girls because it was on one of their adventures, to see the Mardis Gras Parade, where they both declared that the unquenchable love they felt for each other was not one of sorority or friendship. 

 

When they had finished college, life at home for Krissy became intolerable so she left, and because of the love they shared, Lily left too.

Luckily Lily had a maternal Grandmother living in Abbottsford who had also fallen out with the family, so they went there, and Grandma Alice was hesitant, from past experience, to get involved but she reluctantly agreed they could stay for a couple of weeks, it was only sleeping bags in the spare room, but they didn’t mind that, they had had plenty of experience of sleeping bags.

Staying with her was conditional upon them getting work, and paying their way, but that didn’t bother them as they had always been hard workers.

Despite the two-week limitation they were still there six months later, because her worst fears were not realised.

Initially the girls got work at Stephenson’s because they had a history with the stores and a couple of phone calls to Northchapel had them vouched for. 

On the other hand, Alice Parsons, worked for Hanratty’s Department Store, and had done for more than twenty years and once she knew how reliable they were she was able to get them jobs at the store, which gave them full time hours, and Hanratty’s paid better than Stephenson’s.

 

They really enjoyed living with grandma Alice and working at Hanratty’s and as their lives were so content there had been a curtailing of their adventures, apart from the night they got drunk at the Christmas party and fell asleep in the disabled toilet and got locked in the store for the night.

 

Other than that, they had grown into very responsible young women and had impressed Grandma Alice and their employers which earned them a Christmas bonus.

The store had been dressed in tinselled Christmas garb and twinkling lights almost from the beginning of October and the girls found it very exciting as it was a constant reminder of the fact that they were heading for their first Christmas as a couple.

But they knew that their happiness was due in no small part to Grandma Alice, so they wanted to use some of their bonus to get her something special for Christmas, and it didn’t take long for them to decide on the very thing, a Clock.

Or to be more precise a Stylish chiming Mantel clock with Roman numerals and a wooden case, and a loud tick because Grandma Alice always said a ticking clock was the heartbeat of a home.

 

They used some of their bonus and their staff discount to buy it and they had it gift wrapped at the store as well, as they were both rubbish wrappers.

They bought a few other little bits over the weeks as well, but they wrapped them themselves.

 

The girls had to work right up until six o’clock on Christmas Eve, but Alice had the 23^rd and 24^th off so she could get ready for the best Christmas she’d had in years, ever since her estrangement from her daughter she had celebrated Christmas alone, but this year it was going to be different, plus there was an important delivery to the house on Christmas Eve.

 

It was a really busy day at Hanratty’s and the girls were exhausted by the time they got home at 7 o’clock.

“Hi Grandma!” Lily called “We’re home”

“Hello darlings” she retorted as she came to greet them “Dinner is almost ready”

“Great we’re starved” Lily said and laughed

“Have we got time to change?” Krissy asked

“Yes, but before you go up I’ve got a surprise for you both, a joint Christmas present, but you have to have it today because, I can’t keep it hidden until tomorrow, you’ll understand what I mean when you see it” she said “go up and see”

“It’s upstairs?” Krissy asked

“Yes”

“Tell us, tell us” Lily insisted

“All I will say is that I’ve got you something to sleep on” she said, and the girls waited for her to elaborate.

“Well you’ve been sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags for six months, so I’ve got you something proper to sleep on”

And the girls looked at each other and then ran upstairs, but then they stopped at the top of the stairs.

“Go on, in you go” Grandma urged

So, Lily pushed open the door and then they stood open mouthed as they looked at the King Size bed with a pink velvet Queen Anne headboard and made up in contrasting shades of pink, with a Patchwork quilt Duvet Cover decorated with Flowers & Butterflies

“It’s a bed” Lily said “A beautiful bed”

“What were you expecting a hammock?” Alice asked and laughed

“I was expecting bunk beds” Krissy said 

“Why would I get two beds, when you’d only use one of them anyway?” she retorted

“You know?” Lily asked

“Oh darling, I’m not blind, it’s clear to anyone who cares to look at the two of you” she replied

“And you don’t mind?” Krissy asked

“Why would I mind? I’m hardly going to chastise you for being in love”

“You can tell that too?” Lily asked

“You are adorable” Grandma Alice said

“She is, isn’t she?” Krissy said

“And so are you” 

“We love you Grandma” they both exclaimed and they all merged into a hug fest

“This is going to be the best Christmas ever” Grandma said

“It already is” Lily said

“For me too” Krissy agreed

After a few minutes Krissy said urgently

“Ooh, you have to open yours now”

“Yes, yes” Lily agreed “Come on it’s under the tree”

 

By the time Alice got down the stairs Lily was already on her hands and knees under the tree

“This is the one” Lily said and pushed the brightly coloured beribboned package towards her. 

“Ok but let me sit down first” Grandma said laughing

When she was seated, Krissy sat beside her, and the she took the package and began unwrapping

 “Open it, open it” Lily urged her

“I’m savouring it” Alice said

When she had carefully removed the paper and put it aside she opened the box.

“Wow” she exclaimed and began to cry

“Do you like it?” Lily asked

“The beating heart” she replied “that’s what you girls are to me, you are the beating heart in my life”

Then all three were hugging, crying and laughing.

Snippets of Downshire Life – Midnight Mass

 

The medieval Village of Withery, was located between Purplemere and Finchbottom, which was where at one time the Monks of St Vitus Abbey were the first to grow grapes in the county.

The Abbey was long ago reduced to rubble and provided much of the fabric of the Village cottages surviving from 15^th and 16^th centuries, and one of them was occupied by a 45-year-old woman, Annette Slocombe, who was Deputy Warden, at Withery Grange Nursing Home, which was the 21^st century incarnation of the old Manor House.

 

In the six months since her husband’s death, Annette had changed beyond all recognition, she had moved to the village, partly to fulfil a lifelong dream to live in the country, and partly to escape the marital home that she viewed as a prison.

She also did all the things her husband heartily disapproved of, so she was now the proud owner of a dog called Scamp, and a new car which she named Seve, because it was a Golf, and she also watched trash on television, and she was free to practice her faith without fear of ridicule.

However, at the age of 45, the one thing she had dared not dream of was falling in love, and that was something else Malcolm would have disapproved of but fall in love she did.

 

George Rushworth on the other hand hadn’t dreamt of falling in love for a very different reason, he had closed his heart to it, and had drawn a line under such emotions.

For the five years since the death of his beloved wife Katie he never thought of love for a second.

It wasn’t just that he was reluctant to fall in love, he merely accepted that that chapter of his life was over and done with because he felt when Katie died, part of him died too, and that he would never find another mate who would measure up to her.

And then he met a funny little mousy haired woman wandering the woods with a Spaniel and he felt alive again.

When Katie passed, George had pledged never to love again to protect himself against another broken heart.

But that was like living a half-life, yes there might be pain, but the joy far outweighed the risk.

 

Since Annette had moved to Withery she had discovered that life was actually rather wonderful, she had also discovered that there were a lot of trashy things on TV and a lot more on Television that wasn’t, and she realised that it was a Wonderful Life, when she kissed George beneath the mistletoe and they began their relationship in earnest.

 

On Christmas Eve, Annette drove “Seve” down to St Vitus’ Church, because of her shifts she hadn’t been a regular at the Church since she’d moved to Withery, but she had attended three Sunday services, the Christingle and the Carol service.

She had asked George to join her a couple of times, but he hadn’t been to Church since Katie passed, and he was still angry with God for taking her and he was quite unforgiving on the subject, and was totally unmovable on the matter, for now.

Annette thought she would probably wear him down eventually, but she didn’t want to push it.

Although George had declined, for Annette, Midnight Mass was an un-missable event, so she went alone.

 

Annette said a few hello’s and thought to herself that there was a good-sized congregation for the service.

She always found the Midnight Mass very moving and quite atmospheric, possibly because it was conducted in the semi darkness which added to the magic.

So, she took her seat and settled herself and then she bowed her head, closed her eyes and took a few moments to pray and when she opened them again she was not alone.

“You came” Annette said and took George’s hand and cried

“Don’t cry darling” George said

“But I’m so happy that you’re here” she said wiping her eyes

“I’m still angry with Him for taking her” he said defiantly, looking to the heavens.

“But now I know he only took her, so I would be free to love you”

George said, and Annette was crying again

“I love you George Rushworth” she said

“I love you too” he replied “and I really want to kiss you”

“There will be time enough for that” she said and squeezed his hand

 

After midnight, Annette and George shared the peace with their fellow worshippers and then when they went outside George got his kiss and then they went back to George’s cottage.

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (008) The Girl in the Maternity Dress

Holly walked around the lounge talking to the customers, as was her usual habit, she had a less graceful gait than she used to but Steve still felt a great sense of pride that he was her husband, and the reason for her lack of grace was that Holly was pregnant, very pregnant.

It had been two years since they had met and she had changed the course of his life entirely.

 

It was Christmas again and Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun, because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.

His childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten, so he never trusted Christmas, he believed that shit lurked beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.

That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy and as a result Steve had been cured of his Christmas phobia.

 

Due to Holly, Steve had found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle.

He was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days working for her she had turned his life upside down and it culminated on Christmas Eve with him wishing her a Merry Christmas at closing time and kissing her.

Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere.

Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it, but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.

The effects of the kiss proved to be a slow burner which didn’t burst into flames until the early hours of New Year’s Day

 

The two years since had been very eventful, they became partners in January, engaged at Easter and Married in September. 

However, it wasn’t only Steve and Holly’s fortunes that had changed over the preceding two years since they had met, so had those of the Pig and Whistle.

It had gone from a rundown dive to a thriving pub with a growing reputation as a gastro pub.

The restaurant had always been busy right from the outset but when Steve and Stephanos were in the kitchen it was good pub grub and no more because they didn’t have the repertoire to take it to the next level.

However since Steve and Holly had returned from their New Forest honeymoon the previous year with Chef Simon Clarke the restaurant had really taken off.

Simon had been working as a Sous Chef for an arrogant sadistic bully at the same country house hotel that the Berry’s were staying at, but now he was a Chef in his own right and Steve and Stephanos had grown as cooks under him, and this contributed to the general business that night.

It was Christmas Eve and Holly, despite being told to rest by Steve and everybody else was doing her usual walkabout as hostess and as Steve looked at her he sighed because he was so in love with that girl in the maternity dress.

 

Just like Christmas Eve two years earlier it was snowing, not as hard, but enough not to want to make any unnecessary journeys.

She had had a twinge or two which she just laughed it off, she said the baby had been really active all day.

“She’s dancing to the Christmas songs” she said to Steve “she really likes the Puppini Sisters”

But by 9 o’clock in the evening it was obvious the twinges were more than Christmas Dancing and she was having contractions.

Luckily Clare Andrews was dining in the restaurant with friends

“Get Doc Andrews” he said to Petra

“Ok” she replied and ran off while Steve and one of the regulars helped Holly in the private room at the back of the bar.

 

“Where is she?” The Doctor asked

“In here” Steve called

Dr Andrews threw her car keys to Petra

“Can you get my bag from the car please?”

“Yes doc” she replied

“Ooooooh” Holly exclaimed through gritted teeth “that was a big one”   

After Dr Andrews examined her she said

“She’s definitely in labour”

“I’ll call an ambulance” Steve suggested

“No, she’s too far along” Clare said “the baby is going to be born here, and soon”  

“I’d be happier if we got her to hospital” Steve said

“So, would I” Dr Andrews replied

“But she’ll never make it to the hospital”

“She’s really too close?” Steve asked

“Yes” Clare replied “so under the circumstance, here is going to have to do”

 “Upstairs it is then” Steve said “but the first sign of an angel and three wise men and we’re calling an ambulance”

 

“This was certainly different to all my previous Christmases’ Steve thought to himself as he said goodnight to the stragglers and looked out the door, it was still snowing but still not hard.

He locked the doors and went back to where the staff were sitting, no one wanted to go to bed until the baby had been born.  

So they sat around a table in the bar until half past one when Noelle Clare Berry was born, trust Holly Berry to have the baby on Christmas Day. 

Christmas 2017 # 2

DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

Do you know why the Christmas alphabet
Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell
There are only twenty five letters in it
Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel

CHRISTMAS IS WHEN I TRY TO BE UNUSUALLY KIND

Christmas is when I try to be unusually kind
And compassionate to those around me
Not that I’m a good person, it’s just because
I don’t know who my Secret Santa will be

I DON’T WANT A LOT OF FANCY PRESENTS

I don’t want a lot of fancy presents
Tied with bows and ribbon curls
I only want one thing for Christmas
And that’s Santa's list of naughty girls

FAIRY TRADITION

One Christmas, a long time ago
Santa Claus was trying to prepare
For the biggest night of the year
But events left him in despair

A flu epidemic hit the North Pole
And decimated the Elves
And a shortage of helpers
Meant there were empty shelves

The reindeer were rebellious
And Rudolph’s nose was Normal
His parcel sack had a hole in it
And Mrs Claus was menopausal

As a result of all his trials
He was not in the best frame of mind
So when a Fairy approached him
With good intent and being kind

Who was carrying an evergreen
And the Fairy asked cheerfully
“Where would you like me to put
This lovely Christmas Tree?”

Because of his really bad mood
He answered her unseasonably
And thus began the tradition
Of a Fairy atop the Christmas tree

BOXING DAY SPORT

Boxing Day is very popular
For Sport of all kinds in the UK
But in our corner of the land
Trial Pursuit is order of the day

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 18

Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the abode
Only one creature was stirring,
But she was on the commode

THERE IS AN OLD SAYING

There is an old saying
Which we now tend to disregard
Which goes “a green Christmas
Makes for a fat churchyard”

ICE THAT WILL BEAR THE WEIGHT OF SANTA

Ice that will, before Christmas,
Bear the weight of Santa
Will not, according to folklore,
Bear the weight of an Elf after

I AM THE UNBEATEN MASTER AT TRIVIAL PURSUIT

I am the unbeaten master at Trivial Pursuit
At the annual Christmas family sessions
But then I do have an advantage, because
We play with my original set of questions

IF FROM ALL THE BEST CHRISTMAS SHOWS

If from all the best Christmas shows
I had to pick only five
For me it would be any Christmas show
By Morecambe and Wise

ARE YOU WEARING RED? # 1

Are you wearing red?
And standing at the foot of my bed
I hope that means you’re Santa
And not Jeremy Corbyn instead

Christmas 2017 # 1

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SPATS?

Are you wearing Christmas spats?
Well I don’t like them much
But I have to admit that the motif
Of holly is a very nice touch

CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire”
That’s Christmas day with Stephen
But I only have myself to blame
For marrying a sodding vegan

RISQUÉ OR RUDE

If you do something at Christmas
That’s either risqué or rude
Then don’t be at all surprised
If it ends up on Yule Tube

INSULTED SANTA

The local shopping Mall Santa
Turned out to be a very grumpy chap
When a little girl put a bin bag down
Just before she sat on his lap

MY WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER # 3

My worst Christmas present ever
Without a doubt, I have concluded
Was when I received a box of batteries
Labelled “toys not included”

THREE MEN DIED ON CHRISTMAS EVE

Three men died on Christmas Eve
And were stood before St Peter
“You must all pass a simple test
Before you are allowed to enter”

“So produce a symbol of the season
Either on or about your person”

The first man retrieved a bauble
From his overcoat pocket
And St Peter turned to the gate
And proceeded to unlock it

St Peter said “You are blessed
Because you have passed the test”

The next man took a red bow
From his overcoat pocket
And St Peter turned to the gate
And proceeded to unlock it

St Peter said “You are blessed
Because you have passed the test”

The last man took a pair of panties
From his overcoat pocket
St Peter stood fast before the gate
And made no effort to unlock it

St Peter said “You are not blessed
Because you have failed the test”

“In what way do a pair of knickers
Symbolized the Christmas season
I fail to see how they are appropriate
So enlighten me as to the reason”

So the man proceeded to explain
“A young woman’s intimate apparels
Are without a doubt appropriate
When they happen to be carols”

IT WAS ANOTHER SUV CHRISTMAS

It was another SUV Christmas
Thanks to my significant other
No not that kind of SUV, I got
Socks, Underwear and Viagra

THERE IS A SINGING ELF

There is a singing Elf
Up at the North Pole
With a powerful voice
For one so small and dapper

The singing Elf croons
All day in the workshop
So the other Elf’s call him
The Christmas Wrapper

SANTA IS SUCH A JOLLY CHAP

Have you ever wondered
Why Santa is such a jolly chap?
Well it’s because he knows
Where all the naughty girls are at

WHY DOESN'T SANTA HAVE ANY KIDS?

Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
Well it’s impossible for him see
As he only comes once a year
And he’s normally up a chimney

The Avuncular and the Christmas Stocking

Three months had passed since Hannah Castle and I had made love in my room at the Cleddau Bridge Hotel and two days short of three months since she said she wasn’t sure we could be together.
Not that she didn’t love me or enjoy being with me, and I can say without being boastful that it wasn’t because she didn’t enjoy making love with me.
Nor did she think it was a mistake, a moment of madness or because she had drunk too much.
“I don’t regret it for a second” she said as we lay entwined beneath the duvet “I just have doubts”
Hannah just wasn’t sure if she could or should give over her heart, soul and life to a man 12 years older than herself.
I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed and I wasn’t happy about it but I wasn’t angry with her in fact I agreed with her to a point,
And I wanted her to be sure as well.
After all I had no words to convince a 29 year old woman to give her life to a man the wrong side of 40.
And nor would I have wished to use them if they were in my possession.

“I love you Tom but I just have to be certain sure” she said the moment before she drove away.
It was heart-breaking to watch her drive away because I had no such doubts.
For me that first night together was the blissful culmination of eight years of hope and desire.
Not just the love making but to hear my declaration of love returned in word and delicious deed.
It had been pretty much love at first sight for me, but then she was a beautiful sight to behold.
For her it was a more gradual falling and one that she desperately fought against tooth and claw whereas I simply surrendered to her.

Even before our chance meeting at the hotel Hannah had agreed to take a three month secondment in Milford Haven where she could be close to her sister and the twins so she suggested they take that time to think.
And in that time she would either get over me or know for certain sure I was the one.

While she was away I convinced myself almost on a daily basis that it was over and rightly so I thought at times.
If the worst came to the worst I consoled myself with the thought that I would always have the memory of that wonderful weekend when my love for her was finally validated.
In my darkest moments I did question if it was a moment of madness that brought Hannah to my bed.
I was glad for that madness if that’s what it was.
Though if Hannah did resolve that it was a mistake and it was over he would at least have the memory of that wonderful weekend to sustain him forever.
I prefer to think it was fate that brought us together on that wonderful weekend.

I would have liked to have exchanged the occasional text or email with her but Hannah had asked for total separation.
All I could do was throw myself into my work totally and fill my every waking moment with thoughts of anything and everything that wasn’t her.
Impossible of course but if in the unlikely event that I could exclude her from my thoughts I couldn’t stop her invading my dreams.
When I slept I dared to dream, so in the small hours of the sleepless night I resorted to the only thing that prevented me from being driven insane.
I wrote in a diary, I called it a dream diary, it was where I wrote every detail, every thought that filled my troubled sleep nightly, thoughts of love for the girl of my dreams.
The closer the end of the three months got the more intense the dreams became and evermore vivid with each passing day.

It was the day before Christmas Eve when I got the long awaited phone call, I took a deep breath and hit the button.
“Hello, Tom Flood” I said
“Hey Tom” she said
“Hannah?” I asked “God it’s good to hear your voice”
“Ditto” Hannah replied “Where are you?”
“I’m in London” I replied “Are you still in Milford Haven?”
“No I’m back home” she replied “When are you back?”
“Tonight” I replied
“Can we meet?” Hannah asked
“Yes” I said “Have you made a decision?”
“Yes I have” she replied
“And?” I enquired trying to keep the anxiety out of my voice
“I don’t want to say on the phone” she answered “I want to do it face to face”
“Ok” I said not knowing if that meant it would be good or bad
“Come to the house tonight” I said
“What time?” she asked
“Around seven” I replied “Let yourself in if I’m late, you know where the key is”
“Ok, I’ll see you tonight then Tommy” she said
“Ok, bye”

The journey out of London was an absolute mare and consequently I was late and it was nearly 8 o’clock when I drove onto the drive.
Since her phone call my stomach had been in absolute knots and arriving home late didn’t untangle it in the least.
The lights were on in the house so Hannah had let herself in I only hoped she was still there and hadn’t got tired of waiting.
As I sat in the pre-Christmas traffic I tried to ring her to warn her of my delay but my phone died.
So I sat on the drive trying to summon up the courage to go in, I was so desperate to know her answer but equally terrified of what it might be, yes or no.
“Yes” meaning she was sure and she would give all of herself to me unreservedly
Or “No” and we would never be together.
I reran the earlier conversation in my head and tried to read between the lines to find some hidden meaning or some indication as to her decision.
I slowly opened the door and stepped in.
“Hi Hannah” I called “I’m sorry I’m late, traffic was hell”
No answer, she must have got fed up of waiting after all.
“Shit” I exclaimed and took off my coat but as I hung it on the peg in the hall I noticed an unfamiliar coat already hanging there.
“She is here” I said
But where? Where was she exactly?
I hung my coat and walked into the lounge and that’s when I knew.
I knew because I saw the black stockings hanging from the mantel anchored beneath a Christmas candle so I knew where to find her.
And stood on the mantel next to the candle was a Christmas card
I opened it and read the words
“Happy Christmas Tommy
All my love
Hannah”
Beneath her signature there appeared to be an abundance of the obligatory small x’s but on closer examination each kiss was in fact the word “Yes”
And so I had my answer and my dreams were fulfilled.

The Girl in the Maternity Dress

Holly walked around the lounge talking to the customers as was her usual habit.
She had a less graceful gait than she used to but Steve still felt a great sense of pride that he was her husband and Holly was pregnant, very pregnant.
It was two years since they had met and she had changed the course of his life entirely.

It was Christmas again and Steve Berry had always had a dislike for it, despite all the jollity.
Unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he’d had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
So he never trusted Christmas, he believed that shit lurked beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy and Steve had been cured of his Christmas phobia.

Due to Holly, Steve had found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle.
He was still, even to that day uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days working for her she had turned his life upside down and it culminated in him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her at closing time.
He had thought the kiss on Christmas Eve might be the start of something.
Judging by the way Holly responded to it but it didn’t lead anywhere immediately.
Holly had responded to his advance and in fact had been hopeful of it but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.
The effects of the kiss proved to be a slow burner which didn’t burst into flames until the early hours of New Year’s Day

The two years since had been very eventful, they became partners in January, engaged at Easter and Married in September.
However it wasn’t only Steve and Holly’s fortunes that had changed over the preceding two years since they had met but so had those of the Pig and Whistle.
It had gone from a rundown dive to a thriving pub with a growing reputation as a gastro pub.
The restaurant had always been busy right from the outset but when Steve and Stephanos were in the kitchen it was good pub grub and no more because they didn’t have the repertoire to take it to the next level.
However since Steve and Holly had returned from their New Forest honeymoon the previous year with Chef Simon Clarke the restaurant had really taken off.
Simon had been working at the same country house hotel that the Berry’s were staying at as a sous chef for an arrogant sadistic bully.
Now he was a Chef in his own right and Steve and Stephanos had grown as cooks under him.
So this contributed to the general business that night.
It was Christmas Eve and Holly, despite being told to rest by Steve and everybody else was doing her usual walkabout as hostess and as Steve looked at her he sighed because he was so in love with that girl in the maternity dress.

Just like Christmas Eve two years before it was snowing, not as hard, but enough not to want to make any unnecessary journeys.
She had had a twinge or two which she just laughed it off, she said the baby had been really active all day.
“She’s dancing to the Christmas songs” she said to Steve “she really likes the Puppini Sisters”
But by 9 o’clock in the evening it was obvious the twinges were more than Christmas Dancing and she was having contractions.
Luckily Clare Andrews was dining in the restaurant with friends
“Get Doc Andrews” he said to Petra
“Ok” she replied and ran off while Steve and one of the regulars helped Holly in the private room at the back of the bar.

“Where is she?” The doctor asked
“In here” Steve called
Dr Andrews threw her car keys to Petra
“Can you get my bag from the car please?”
“Yes doc” she replied
“Ooooooh” Holly exclaimed through gritted teeth “that was a big one”
After Dr Andrews examined her she said
“She’s definitely in labour”
“I’ll call an ambulance” Steve suggested
“No she’s too far along” Clare said “the baby is going to be born here, and soon”
“I’d be happier if we got her to hospital” Steve said
“So would I” Dr Andrews replied
“But she’ll never make it to the hospital”
“She’s really too close?” Steve asked
“Yes” Clare replied “so under the circumstance, here is going to have to do”
“Upstairs it is then” Steve said “but the first sign of an angel and three wise men and were calling an ambulance”

This was certainly different to previous Christmases’ he thought to himself as Steve looked out the door as he said goodnight to the last customers it was still snowing but still not hard.
He locked the doors and went back to where the staff were sitting, no one wanted to go to bed until the baby had been born.
So they sat around a table in the bar until half past one when Noelle Clare Berry was born.
Trust Holly Berry to have the baby on Christmas Day.

The Girl in the Christmas Dress

The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part One)

Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his father Steve’s came with a slap.
So his childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happens Christmas just magnifies the misery.
If someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.
He could testify to that as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He has no idea where his father is and quite frankly he doesn’t care.
He never showed up for the funeral and he could be dead as well for all he knew.
So as a result he has never trusted Christmas, he knows that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy.

He had found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle.
He was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days working for her she had turned his life upside down and it culminated on Christmas Eve with him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her at closing time.
Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere.
Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.
There were scabs as yet unpicked regarding Steve Berry that needed to be attended to before she completely let down her guard.
Holly considered him to be a work in progress she thought he had potential but he still needed work but there was certainly hope for him.

The other event that occurred on Christmas Eve was a prolonged snowfall which resulted in them being snowed in.
Holly was due to go to lunch at her cousin’s house but as she lived 30 miles away it was not possible to make the journey safely with the amount of snow that was laying.
Steve was due to spend the day alone not celebrating Christmas at all but Holly invited him to spend the day with her instead as he hadn’t risked driving home the night before.
He would have been quite happy to have slept on one of the bench seats in the lounge bar as he had once before but Holly insisted he use the spare room.
So that was how Steve Berry came to celebrate his first ever Christmas and why he was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee in the clothes he had been wearing the night before.
“Morning” he said as she appeared behind the bar
“Happy Christmas” Holly said and reached over and kissed his cheek.
Now it was not the kiss he was hoping for and it was not possessed of the passion that accompanied the embrace of the night before but that simple peck on the cheek held within it, hope.
“God its cold in here” she said
“Yes, there was a power cut during the night and it knocked the boiler out” he said
“I’ve relit it but it’ll take a while to warm up”
“This was not the Christmas day I had in mind” Holly said putting the collar of her dressing gown up
“Nor me” he added
She was supposed to be dining on a sumptuous feast at her cousin’s house, while he was supposed to be in self-imposed exile at his flat.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked
“Oh yes please” she replied and Steve got up and went to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea
“Thanks hon” she said and winced at her involuntary over familiarization and quickly went on
“I don’t know what we are going to eat today” Holly said
“We will need to ferret in the freezer”
“I didn’t know ferret was traditional Christmas fare” Steve said
“You know what I mean” she said “Can you cook?”
“A bit” he replied
“Good because I’m rubbish” Holly admitted
Steve actually undersold himself when he said he could cook a bit
He could in fact cook very well, exceptionally well.

Steve not being a traditionalist or a fan of the season could certainly make something out of what was on hand in the kitchen.
Holly however wanted to have a roast lunch, with all the trimmings, but after they checked the freezer they had to rule out a roast dinner as the joints would never have defrosted in time, but there were alternatives.
The fresh vegetable stores were limited but more than sufficient for two people.
Although she couldn’t cook herself Holly was determined to help firstly by peeling the potatoes and carrots and then by getting out of his way so he could get on by taking herself off upstairs to get ready for the day.

While Holly was gone Steve finished preparing the food and he was pleased that he had achieved something to suit Holly’s traditional wishes at least in part.
He had just reached the point where he could safely leave the kitchen and get showered and shaved when Holly reappeared and he was stopped in his tracks.
She looked stunning, her mousy hair, washed and styled was adorned with Christmas slides and she was wearing a white wool dress decorated with poinsettias.
And her shapely legs were covered by black tights with motifs of bows and parcels.
As he looked at her he thought to himself that he’d like them to be stockings rather than tights but nice legs were nice legs regardless of what they were sheathed in.
“Wow” Steve exclaimed
“Wow” he said again and Holly blushed
“It’s a Christmas dress you know” she said
“I don’t care” he said
“But you don’t like Christmas”
“It’s growing on me”
“Good” she said “you won’t mind wearing this then”
When would he ever learn, He now had to wear another blessed Christmas sweater.
“Where do you keep getting them from?” he asked
“They’re Uncle Phil’s” she replied “I buy him one every year”
“I’ve never seen Phil in a Christmas jumper” Steve said
“No nor of I” Holly agreed

The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part Two)

Steve went upstairs, showered and shaved and returned to find Holly had laid a table in the lounge bar, complete with festive serviettes, candles, party poppers and crackers.
On the CD player the Puppini Sisters were in full voice and his natural aversion to Christmas music was tempered by the fact he caught Holly singing and dancing along with the music.
He stayed out of sight in the doorway so he could enjoy the spectacle as long as possible.
When she eventually became aware of him she blushed redder than the poinsettias on her dress.
“How long have you been standing there?” she said suddenly flustered and began fussing with the table.
“Long enough” Steve replied
“You should have said something” Holly said as she headed towards the kitchen
“What and spoil the show” he replied as he followed close behind

Holly carried on with the table while Steve checked the oven and ten minutes later he was transferring everything to serving dishes which Holly took to the table.
All he had left to do was make the gravy and get the Yorkshire puddings out of the oven.
Christmas dinner was as traditional as he could manage given the limits of the provisions available.
It was Holly’s turn to say “Wow” as he served Chicken breast wrapped in bacon, served with Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, carrots, peas, stuffing and Yorkshire pudding.
“What no starters” she said tongue in cheek
Holly lit the candles and Steve opened the wine they pulled the crackers and she made him wear a paper hat.
For desert he served apple pie and ice cream after which they watched the Queens speech.

As soon as the speech was over Holly switched off the TV
“What now?” he asked
“Now we sit and talk” She replied
“You mean “talk”” Steve said
“Yes”
“Do we have to” He said
“How are we supposed to learn about each other if we don’t talk?”
Holly replied
“So what do you want to know?” he said resignedly
“You’re childhood” Holly said with great interest
“What about it?” he replied
“Well, it’s not just Christmas that was unhappy was it”
“No it wasn’t” he replied and Holly settled back to let him unburden himself
“It wasn’t just Christmas, it was Easter, Halloween, birthdays and New Year’s”
He paused and took a drink
“you see My parents were alcoholics, when I was young they managed to somehow keep it under control but once I got to school age I pretty much raised myself, which is how I came to learn to cook because if I didn’t cook I didn’t eat”
They had spent a very pleasant Christmas day together, snowed in at the pub, the last thing he wanted to do was regurgitate the unpleasant moments of his life, particularly as he had been doing his best to forget them.
But once he started he couldn’t stop and by the end of it he was exhausted as they sat in the gathering darkness.
Holly was largely quiet throughout and just added the odd word of encouragement and support.
Holly broke the short period of silence.
“How do you feel?”
“Surprisingly good” he responded

Despite his feeling unburdened there was an awkward silence so Steve disappeared down to the kitchen to make them a snack.
He wondered if he should have held back and if he had unnerved Holly with his honesty.
When he had finished with the snack he put it on a tray and carried it upstairs to the lounge where Holly greeted his arrival with a smile.

“God that was good” Holly said after consuming his offering with relish
“Every cloud has a silver lining” he said referring to the reason he learned to cook,
“There is always a positive” Holly said “you just have to look for it”
“Well that’s what I plan to do” he said and cleared the plates away
“I’ll pour us another drink” He said

When he returned she was sitting with a Christmas present on her lap and she was smiling broadly.
“Happy Christmas” she said as she handed him the gift
“What’s this?” he asked
“Well open it and find out” Holly answered
“I wasn’t expecting a present” he said
Steve sat down and squeezed the package
“Oh no not another Christmas sweater” he said and Holly giggled as he tore the paper open.
But when he had removed all the paper and unfolded its contents he saw it was indeed a sweater but not a novelty Christmas one but a plain blue cashmere.
“That’s fantastic” he said enthusiastically “I love it
“Try it on then” Holly insisted and stood up
Holly took hold of the new one while Steve removed the one he was wearing and then they swapped.
As Steve pulled the cashmere over his head Holly held the novelty one he had just removed up to her nose and inhaled his scent.
“That looks great” she said when it was on
“It feels it” he said “can I keep it on?”
“Yes” she said and held the other one to her breast
He walked over to the tree and plunged his hand in between the branches.
It was perhaps testament to the progress that he had made over such a short period of time that he had actually bought her a present, which he removed from its hiding place and said
“Happy Christmas”
“When did you put that there?” she asked
“This morning” Steve replied
Holly ripped the paper off like a mad woman until she was left with a little blue presentation box embossed with gold relief.
She looked at it in wide eyed wonder, it was jewelry, and from a quality jeweler’s.
She took a deep breath and then opened it and she gasped.
“It’s lovely” she said as she took it out the box and held the gold pendant in her hand.
It was in the shape of a holly leaf with her name engraved on it.
“I love it” she said “put it on for me”
Steve took the pendant from her and when Holly turned her back to him, she reached back and scooped her hair out of the way while he fastened it.
Then she went to the mirror, stood on her tiptoes and looked at herself and admired the pendant.
“I really love it” Holly said and let out a squeal and then for the second day running they ended the day with a passionate kiss.